so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
