Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
