So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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