Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
