I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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