why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
