Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
ok first of all what the fuck
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
