no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
