Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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