Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize