my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
