Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
