DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize