well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
two words...techno handjob
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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