So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The air was thick with penises
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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