So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
