Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
