I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
