hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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