whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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