Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
