You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hippo gnu deer
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
