Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize