He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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