are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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