I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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