my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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