I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Pappa wants mamma naked
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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