Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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