just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
