I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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