no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
