Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
