stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
