just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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