All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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