I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
