Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
