chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
