I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
