it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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