hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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