Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
