Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
