My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
