$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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