is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
