i think my tv is drunk
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
