If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize