did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
