I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
