I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
