Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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