Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize