it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
