if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
