dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
