Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I smell stomach acid.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
