be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i think i just lost a toe
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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