she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
