I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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