Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize