Sry I called you an 8
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
