are you still at the devil's house?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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