He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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