suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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