Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
