i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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